Just sharing my experience: I have no compulsion to have children, and never have. (For reference I am female, in my mid-twenties, and in a long-term relationship with a cis man.) I don't dislike children, but I have no desire to have any of my own - I find it very hard to understand how the positives could outweigh the negatives. Obviously many people do, and my viewpoint is by no means the only valid one, but I find it genuinely difficult to understand why people choose to have children, as I have so little inclination to do so.
I think being female makes it easier to have strong negative feelings. My partner has talked about being interested in the idea of having children, but I feel like it's a lot easier to say that as the person who is not going to have to go through pregnancy and childbirth, and who is statistically less likely to be the primary carer. I feel that it's societally easier for men to take a more hands-off role, whereas women are more likely to find themselves taking the most responsibility and having their life affected to a greater extent. (Again, this is very much an average thing, rather than the universal experience - same-sex couples have children, people adopt, many fathers are primary carers, etc. But in general, being a mother seems more potentially overwhelming than being a father, and so I feel like I have more to lose.)
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2015-06-18 10:40 am (UTC)I think being female makes it easier to have strong negative feelings. My partner has talked about being interested in the idea of having children, but I feel like it's a lot easier to say that as the person who is not going to have to go through pregnancy and childbirth, and who is statistically less likely to be the primary carer. I feel that it's societally easier for men to take a more hands-off role, whereas women are more likely to find themselves taking the most responsibility and having their life affected to a greater extent. (Again, this is very much an average thing, rather than the universal experience - same-sex couples have children, people adopt, many fathers are primary carers, etc. But in general, being a mother seems more potentially overwhelming than being a father, and so I feel like I have more to lose.)